In March 2021, I was approached by a recruiter for an open Chief Financial Officer position. We made an appointment to speak later that night. Normally, when you talk to a headhunter, they give you ten, maybe fifteen minutes of their time to sell yourself. Then they present your resume for the open position. After that, you may never hear from them again; zero feedback. The interview that night lasted an hour and a half. She went through, in detail, every position on my resume and wanted to know exactly why I left every company

My resume is a mess. I worked for nine companies for over twenty years. I’ve worked at some crazy private equity takeovers. Trying to explain all that is tricky.

This is just one story:

In 1999, I started working as the Director of Finance for Charlotte Russe. I knew they would be bought by a Private Equity firm when I interviewed for the job. During those interviews, I asked every senior leader if I should be concerned about the change in owners. To a person, they all said, “I may be gone, but you’ll be fine.” Three months after I started, we were bought by a Private Equity group. All the former senior leaders were let go. Four months later, our headquarters staff was reduced by thirty percent. Three months later, our headquarters staff was again cut by fifteen percent. Six months later, I was invited into the new CEO’s office. She handed me a piece of paper and said, “Larry, we like you. This paper shows the stock you’ll receive when we go public in four or five years. We’re giving you more than other people at your level cause you’re doing a great job. Nice work, keep it up.” Well… it couldn’t have been more than three weeks after that meeting when we hired a new CFO. And it couldn’t have been more than three weeks after that, I was “invited” back into the CFO’s office and let go along with my boss, the VP of finance. They replaced both of us with one person to cut costs. Essentially, I went from the penthouse to the outhouse in only weeks.

A variation of that experience repeated itself multiple times.

Back to the interview in 2021. After the interview, I was exhausted mentally, emotionally, and physically. It was very intense, probably the most stressful interview I’ve had. I’ve had a root canal. That was worse than the root canal; the root canal was shorter. I felt like I was reliving all those job changes again, along with the anxiety, fear, and depression. I have good habits of handling these emotions, including my meditation practice, but I was completely drained and depressed.

Sometimes I feel revelation just as I’m waking up, when my mind is very clear. Two mornings after the interview with the recruiter, just as I was waking up, I had a very strong, direct, distinct impression. Essentially, that impression felt like someone telling me, “Larry, you need to ‘own’ these experiences. They have made you who you are… more resilient, more faithful, and less judgy. You need to ‘wear these on your sleeve’ with pride and honor and not with shame.” A sense of peace came with that impression, and I was finally able to put all the chaos into perspective.

I look back on those experiences and realize that everything happens for us and not to us. It’s part of the growth plan. But not only that, Christ is there to help us through the journey in his “comforter” role if we just completely open ourselves to him. I look back and really don’t have regrets. I would have done things differently, but I don’t feel the pain of regret.

Final weird footnote … dinner with the vampire.

In 2023, I was on vacation with two of my kids and their spouses in Madison, Wisconsin, at an Airbnb. At night, I had the most bizarre dream. I dreamed I was sitting at dinner with a vampire. I was sitting at one end of the table, and the vampire was at the other end. Two other people were sitting on both sides. The vampire asked me to do something that I felt was wrong. I said, “No,” because it was wrong. Then his eyes started spinning around in circles like something out of a bad, sixties vampire movie; he was trying to hypnotize me into doing his will. I remember thinking, “I know what’s right and wrong. I know what I’m doing. Even though this is a vampire, I can control this situation.” At that point, he immediately jumped up out of his seat, floated over to my side of the table, and started to stick his fangs in my neck. I woke up just before his teeth hit my skin.

I was startled and woke up at once. I’m on vacation with my family, enjoying myself, completely at peace, and I’m dreaming about vampires? What in the world was that all about? Immediately, the response popped into my head, “This stands for the prior people and companies you’ve worked for.

Now, in a very strange way, this was therapeutic for me because I finally realized what I had been dealing with. “God works in mysterious ways,” and this was very strange. This made me realize the following about the past companies and people that I had worked for:

“You can’t control them.”

“They will turn on you in a heartbeat.”

I know… strange dream. But the vampire was therapeutic for me. In the end, the only thing I can control is myself… my actions, my emotions, and my work ethic.

The artwork is called “Look Unto Me” and is used by permission from Eva Koleva Timothy