Growing up, I heard a lot of talk about duty, obedience, and judgment. It took me into my sixties to fully “get” one of the main points of the gospel… the atonement of Christ. With so much talk of obedience, somehow, I had missed Christ.

Over the last years, we have focused more and more on a relationship with Christ. Is that scary? If I drew closer, would Christ come at me with a longer “to-do” list … a greater list of “shoulds?” I should DO this. I should BE that.

But when we study the life of Christ …

• To the woman caught in adultery, he offered non-condemnation and protection from the leaders of that day.
• To the lepers, he offered healing and acknowledgment.
• To the woman with an issue of blood, he gave healing and peace.
• To the widow of Nain, he restored her son.

Somehow, I missed all these stories. In 2018, the atonement of Christ became real as I worked through issues from past job changes. And as I came closer to God, I felt love, peace, mercy, and joy, not fear. As I came to know Christ, I wasn’t given a massive list of to-dos, but this is what I felt:

• I am my Heavenly Parents’ beloved son.
• I am enough, even with all my mistakes. I am not complete, but I’m enough. It’s as if God said, “You are fine. You are good. You are right where I want you to be. I love you. I’ve got you.”
• God made me … warts, wrinkles, strengths, weaknesses, all of it, and I’m perfect in his eyes. This doesn’t mean that I don’t need to improve. But He made me and will use all of me (strengths and weaknesses) to carry out His purposes. We are great as He intended. My personality is specific to the task He needs.
• I was reminded of some of my strengths. It’s as if God said, “Larry, you’re really good at this talent and you forgot about it. I gave you that gift. I’m now going to give you experiences to use it.”
• God does not punish me or shun me because of my weaknesses. Although I still face temptations and sins, God stays with me. We may feel that if we have a sin or a weakness or an addiction, we are not worthy of God. God loves and supports me. He knew we would have sin and weaknesses, and he gave us a way out through the atonement of Jesus Christ. It is okay for us to have weaknesses.

Essentially, I had become whole. I had been healed. I am restored. I am sound. I am aligned with my body, mind, and spirit. To be whole means nothing is broken or missing. I am still growing, learning, and adding more experiences, but I don’t lack. I’m not complete. I’m still growing. But I’m whole.

I love the following analogy:

Think of a violin. If its body is cracked, its strings are frayed, or its bridge is broken, it cannot produce the sound it was created for—it is not whole. But when it is repaired, tuned, and aligned, the violin becomes whole again. Being whole doesn’t mean the violin has played its final concert (that would be complete). Wholeness means it is restored to its true condition, ready to be used for beautiful music.

I am repaired. I am whole. Now, what beautiful music can I compose from His will?

The artwork is called “Grace” and is used by permission from Eva Koleva Timothy