I’m actually writing about meditation. This is something I would have never mentioned years ago. But meditation was a big part of my healing process. God led me to meditation to mend.

This is how I began.

One of the first impressions I got after my “I will heal you” revelation was to read a specific book. Basically, God said, “You need to read this book.” “Now read it again.” “Now read these chapters again.”  “Now read these paragraphs again.” That book was The Unbeatable Mind, by Mark Divine; shout-out to Mark. Mark started his career in finance. But he felt his true calling was to be a Navy SEAL. After years as a Navy SEAL commander, he continues to run successful businesses. I’ve read books by Navy Seals. They highlight their superior mental and physical discipline, which is interesting, impressive, and inspirational. But Mark’s book was different because he has a very spiritual side, very Zen for a Navy SEAL. He has incorporated meditation along with the physical & mental aspects of being a SEAL. I call it “warrior-monk.” And the specific chapters that I was told to read multiple times were all about meditation.

If this works for a Navy SEAL, this can work for me, too. This can heal me.

In the book, Mark outlines two specific meditation techniques that I still use today, years later.

Technique one is what he calls “box breathing.” Box breathing means that you inhale through your nose to a count of five, hold your breath for a count of five, exhale through your mouth to a count of five, and hold your breath for a count of five.

Technique two is what he calls “still waters run deep.” To quote Mark,

“Our mind is normally like the choppy, class five rapids. It’s just all over the place, and it’s rushing all around. And it’s very turbulent. You could get lost or drown in the day-to-day thinking, and not ever experience the depths.

But then all of a sudden, the river will round a bend, and it’ll get wide and deeper. And all of a sudden, you’ll find that the river gets really calm.

And in the center of that deep spot, the water is very still. Because it’s running nice and deep, and it’s spread out. Take yourself into that place mentally and metaphysically, to where you tap into the still water that runs deep inside of you.

So, I actually offer an exercise where you kind of find this very beautiful, crystal clear pool in your mind’s eye. It’s a visualization. And then you just walk into it, and you sink to the bottom. And this visualization in this depth is super-quiet and super-calming. And it helps you connect to the silence.”

Essentially, box breathing settles my mind. And the “still waters run deep” technique allowed me to bring up the past and let it go. As part of my healing process, I would visualize all the past hurt, all the past failures, all the insecurities, all the discouragement, and let them go from the bottom of the pond and watch them burst above me. I would do the same thing with the people who hurt me, and I would visually release them, forgive them, forgive myself for my part, and watch the hurt feeling move up from the bottom of the lake to the top and burst away. I would also imagine letting go of all the past jobs. Somehow, it helped me to just let go of any hurt, any disappointment, and any failure.

My meditation techniques started with these two skills. This process took weeks, months, and years. For a little over a year, starting in 2019, I spent between twenty to forty minutes each weeknight at a park using these techniques. Gradually and imperceptibly, I began to heal. Then, over time, a very subtle shift occurred as I began to use meditation less as a healing process and more as a normal part of my daily routine. As I began to heal, the techniques moved from letting go of past regrets and failures, and moved toward techniques of visualization and planning the day around the main goals I want to achieve. Over time, I felt greater calm through the chaos, greater revelation, and a stronger identity with my Heavenly Parents.

Eventually, this evolved into a variation of meditation technique taught by Vishen Lakhiani, CEO of Mind Valley:

Step one … deep breathing technique to settle my mind. Generally, I use box-breathing to begin the meditation process for the day.

Step two … gratitude. I spend time thinking of all the ways God influenced my life that day or the previous day. Where did the magic happen? Where did I see the hand of God? What are six things that I’m grateful for? I once heard a podcast from Jewel, the singer, who at one point was homeless in San Diego. She said she had her favorite spot that she would sit at by a small tree, and stare at the light coming through a palm tree. She began to heal when she thanked God for small things, such as the light coming through the tree.

Step three … forgiveness. This is where I still use a technique like “still waters run deep.” This was a powerful tool for me to let go of past hurts and failures. But I continue to use this technique to release current stressors and hurts.

Step four … visualize the long-term goals and the daily goals tied to the long-term goals. This is where I try and keep the long-term picture in mind and remember the big five- and ten-year goals that I wanted to achieve. Then, I visualize what my perfect day would look like to achieve these goals. Here I spend time visualizing each part of my day from the time I left my morning meditation until I laid down. This was the mental creation of my day.

Step five … final prayer to God.

Some days I try to do all five steps. Some days I may only do two or three steps. But this is an integral part of my morning routine.

In summary, as I began to apply the steps of my morning routine:

• Impressions come into my mind for my personal life and for my work.
• I am more proactive at work. I am calmer through the chaos.
• I feel comforted that this was all part of a big plan.
• It doesn’t stop problems from coming, but it helps to put them in perspective. “Sometimes God calms the storm and sometimes God calms the sailor.”
• In some cases, God re-ordered my priorities and told me not to worry about certain goals right now, and to work on others.
• Gradually, how the world sees me fell further away and how God sees me feels closer. And the greatest benefit of all, I truly feel like a child of God. I know that I am a son of my heavenly parents, and not just a son, but a BELOVED SON. I know that he loves me and is pleased with even the smallest efforts and progress.

When I run after what I think I want, my days are a furnace of distress and anxiety.

But if I sit in my own place of patience, what I need flows to me and without any pain.

From this, I also understand that what I want, also wants me, is looking for me, and attracting me.

There is a great secret in this for anyone who can grasp it.

Rumi

The artwork is called “Mountain Moving” and is used by permission from Eva Koleva Timothy